Reply to Parents of 3- do you wish you’d stopped at 2 or 1

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My second and third children were literally five minutes apart. No regrets.  Some people rise to the occasion, some people would still be overwhelmed with an only child or two children. I think it has less to do with the number of children, and more to do with the parents’ outlook and abilities to make peace with a little chaos.[/quote]

+100
I had three under three and I would never say this to anyone in real life, but I'm markedly less frazzled than some of my friends with one kid. It comes down to temperament and outlook. [/quote]

It comes down to standards. [/quote]

It sounds snobbish but sadly its true. You sure can have multiple children and raise them to adulthood but you are just spreading resources of time, care, supervision, involvement and opportunities too thin so yes standards are compromised. Insisting and pretending they aren't is deluding self not others.
[/quote]

I mean, unless you’re wealthy. My SAHM/big law partner parent combo provided far more resources, time and opportunities for their four kids when I was growing up than I now have in my dual-income/two working parent UMC household with two kids. It’s mostly about money. [/quote]

It is the ultimate status symbol to have a beautiful smart SAHM with lots of children in private school. You know you made it if you can afford to live a nice life with a wife who doesn’t work with a nanny and have 3-4 kids in private school.

This is different than having a dual income UMC household saving to full pay college for 2 kids.[/quote]

This describes my family to a T, but you know what? I would be the same parent even without the money and extras. At the end of the day your kid just wants you present and patient. [b]Those of you saying you ability to parent three kids well comes down to the ability to pay for travel sports and vacations in Maui are totally missing the point.[/b] If that's what you think you offer to your kids that's really sad. [/quote]

I have 3 kids and totally agree. My kids play rec sports, our vacations are more beach house in OBX than European ski chalets, and we are saving for them to be able to attend state schools. I still think we’re doing a pretty good job parenting them because we’ve built our lives around having flexible jobs that allow me to be active in volunteering at their schools and for DH to coach their sports teams. We take the time to do 1:1 things with them and really prioritize family. Sure I’d love some sort of windfall where we could take them on some nicer vacations, upgrade to a slightly larger house, or whatever. But those are icing on the cake, not the main ingredients.

I’m an only child and my dad worked really long hours with lots of travel. He made up for his absences with spending lots of money and buying me things. Think new car in the driveway on my 16th birthday and all that. I do have a good relationship with him, but the stuff isn’t the reason. It was the time he spent with me, making it to cheer on my sports on the weekend, that I remember the most. [/quote]

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