Reply to SIL and dad’s funeral

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for the responses.  I do wonder if I’m overreacting or misdirecting feelings, so it’s helpful to read that and think more about my reaction. That said, I also feel like you just show up when someone dies — I told all of my friends not to go through hassle to come to funeral (it was on a weekday, all have kids including toddlers, etc) and they all just came. Some came from far afield. Others who were far and couldn’t come sent a card or a food gift card or flowers. Even a card just meant so much.  She didn’t do any of that, which really made me second guess how much I want to bother investing.[/quote]

I always try to go to funerals because I know it’s means something to people. But a lot of people don’t feel that way. They go to funerals if the person who died meant something to them. Not if the person who died meant something to the living friend.

You need to stop blaming her for not coming. It’s not expected for an in law to come to a funeral in that situation. I offered to go to my sisters husbands fathers  funeral in another state and my parents who are very into going to funerals when appropriate told me I didn’t need to.[/quote]

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