Reply to Husband considers two plates left in the kitchen "lack of respect" toward him

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How would you react to this?

This morning at 7 I was rushing out the door with our 7 year-old to make it in time to an all-day kids' activity. I left the two dirty plates used for breakfast on the kitchen counter. Otherwise the kitchen and the entire house were spotless (because our cleaner was here yesterday).

An hour later my husband texted me a photo of the two plates, writing that I should clean up my mess before leaving the house, because "it shows a lack of respect" toward him.

I wanted to reply to him jokingly that putting the two plates in the dishwasher will be considered his share if the household chores, but I bit my tongue, because I knew that it would make him angry.

He doesn't do anything around the house, except goes grocery shopping one a week. For example,if it rains, it wouldn't occur to him to cover the teak patio furniture. He refuses even to water the plants.

He expects that I keep the house spotless, because it is me and our kid who "make the mess" during the week. He gets home late and leaves early every day.

I have a job and work outside the home, albeit less hours than him (because I take care of our kid).

When our kid and I got home tonight at 8:30 pm, the two plates were still on the counter. I cleared them away before I washed our son and put him to bed.

How would you deal with this? My husband is prone to angry reactions, and I don't want to escalate the situation. Nevertheless,it bothers me.

By the way, such situations occur regularly.

Thanks in advance.[/quote]

I would detach and ignore him entirely when he texts or calls or says this krap or won’t be a team player for his house, wife or kid.

If this is super pervasive counseling might be in order or look at divorce options if he might coparent or care for the kid OK.

No mother or father gets to work 10+ hours out of the house and use that as an excuse to not do basic stuff and pitch in around the house and with the kid(s).

If housework is getting too much then he and you need to pay for housekeeper 2+ times a week or increase the frequency of the cleaners. Not dump on you and pester you while he hides at the office having secretaries, jr people and daily cleaning ladies do everything. [/quote]

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