Reply to He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP!  I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I also had HPV and was so embarrassed, devastated, etc. I felt so dirty and ashamed. But you know what?  Many many people have/had HPV and never know it. It is VERY common. You just happen to be one of the “unlucky” people who discovered it through a blood test.

You are very lucky that you don’t have a cancerous strain. However, just FYI, you can still be infected with a cancerous strain later on if a future partner exposes you to it.  Consider getting the vaccine.

Ironically, this guy may have given it to you or - even more ironic - he may be carrying a cancerous strain and he doesn’t even know it!  So while I can appreciate his cautiousness, he needs to learn a lot more about this virus.

I personally wouldn’t like his response. I would have been totally fine if he said, “ok no sex until I talk to a doctor and figure this out (or ok let’s use condoms) but let’s still be together.”  But his response sounds overly dramatic, and a bit like he’s blaming you/shaming you.

FWIW, I found out I had HPV when I was maybe 6 months into a relationship. I had cervical changes and needed a colposcopy (and ultimately a leep). I disclosed it to my boyfriend who was like, “ok I guess it have it too since we’ve been intimate for months. No big deal, we are in this together.”  He came to all my appointments. We’ve been married 13 years and my HPV is currently undetected. This was back in 2009, doctors are learning so much more about HPV. I later learned I have a low risk strain. 
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