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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP.   After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates.  It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle.  There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid.  One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it.  In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids.  They never asked us to help and we never considered it.  I think they knew we shared their [b]philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling[/b] and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do. [/quote]

Move along…[/quote]

NP.  It’s philosophically revolting yes.  And if I were a parent who had to rely on my parents to pay my child’s private school tuition I’d be embarrassed.  [/quote]

Grandparents paying school tuition is a way to transfer future inheritance earlier. Plenty of people who can afford private still have grandparents paying. Nothing to be embarrassed of. [/quote]

I grew up poor...went to scrappy commuter college and law school. Same for my DH. We are rich now. Rest assured I wanted a better life for my kids and grandkids.I will gladly pay their private school tuitions. I bet the holier than thou posters deriding private never went to an urban public in the hood like I did.[/quote]

THIS. If I’m able I’ll gladly pay my grandkids tuition one day![/quote]

I’m the grandparent who could pay but won’t.  I didn’t grow up rich or going to fancy schools either.  Trust me.  I just think 9/10 of this is parenting.  You don’t have to spend all that money to get a good education, and there’s nothing wrong with meeting a disadvantaged classmate every once in a while - and, God forbid, maybe even making friends with some![/quote]

My parents are like you.  They have plenty of money but wouldn't help because they have self-righteous beliefs on what is best.  We had our kid in private for a few years because of their needs for the individual attention.  My parents were appalled that we would even consider private.  It wasn't an expensive private but just a very basic one that did wonders for our child who would have struggled in public.  We will consider it if HS doesn't go great in public.  You cannot take the money with you.  Your kids and grandkids know how stingy you are.  I'm so thankful my grandparents were so loving and generous, but my parents are not.    My grandparents had very little but helped with what they could to make sure we went to college and other things.[/quote]

What was you kid’s “need for individualized attention?”  Are you saying that your kid was a special needs kid who the public schools couldn’t accommodate?  Because that’s an entirely different issue.  Of course we’d pay for a private school in that instance if the parents couldn’t afford it.  It wouldn’t have been a rich kid private school though - it would have been a school that fit the needs of a special needs kid.

Also, on the “we have plenty of money” front, please explain to me why grandparents should pay for private schools when their kids make several hundred thousand dollars a year but elect to live in a low performing school district.  This was their choice, and they never expected us to subsidize them for it.  There’s no bad blood between any of us at all.   Our grandkids are quite mainstream and don’t need any special attention.  And they’re doing fine.  [/quote]

Given how rich you are, it's bizarre that you don't want your grandkids with rich kids.  No kids are rich.  Their parents are.

I live in a "low" performing school area because my parents insisted we live near them and it was all we could afford at the time.  They promised to help out and occasionally babysit, which they never do.

Doing just fine is subjective.  I doubt your kids tell you everything as you are so judgmental.

You realize SN schools can be $60-100K+ a year?

I don't get grandparents who don't help out with grandkids who got help in terms of babysitting and money from their parents and now that they are getting older expect those same kids who they refused to help their kids/grandkids take care of them...nope.[/quote]

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