Reply to How do I communicate with someone who can’t?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And OP, if he loves you and is trying to work on things, take it as a blessing. There just aren't a lot of men out there than can do life's administration besides their own. They don't exist. And if they do, they are taken or they are helping everyone and don't have that much time for family.[/quote]

This is so wrong. There [i]are[/i] men out there who are completely competent and come to the table as equal partners. OP (and apparently you) just didn't select those men. [/quote]

100% this.

Men absolutely can and do perform life admin, mental load, physical load, and are balanced partners.  Many more than this person seems to think.  Even those with ADHD, if they have had coaching and tools to manage it.

[b]I feel very badly for women who think this is normal and okay to life with.[/b]

ASD is more challenging, and extremely rough on everyone if the partner on the spectrum masked until a big life changing event (such as having kids).[/quote]

I think they have to tell themselves this, otherwise they're admitting to themselves that they've chosen poorly and their life is worse because of it. So they deny the existence of men who are full partners. [/quote]

No.
They were empathetic and gave these little brain farts a pass, the benefit of the doubt. Plus life is so simple living in an apartment, going to work or being a grad student, and date dinners out.

After marriage, house and kids, responsibilities went up and he could not and would not adapt. He reverted back to sleep/office/eat/tv time. Any comments or requests were met with scorn.

Now the wife and kids know all about mental disorders so they can “pick right” in the future. But most people don’t know about the negatives of living with someone with invisible disabilities like high functioning autism. Increasingly they do.

Having good role models in their own fathers and brothers also help ID the current problems in the household. Not that an HFA will start mimicking a positive role model husband. No energy or time for that! [/quote]

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