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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a 61 year old grandmother who was a stay at home mom.  DH is a year older and retired early.  We are not what DCUM would consider wealthy but financially we are quite comfortable.  And we are healthy.

All of our kids and grandkids live within a 20 minute drive from us in the DC area, some even closer than that.  We had them young (early and mid 20s) and they had their kids relatively young (around 30).

Our kids would likely agree that we have had almost as much of a hand in the grandkids upbringing as they have.  Other than extended day after school, they have never had a babysitter or nanny.  They routinely spend nights with us.  They never have to worry about saying “no” to the weddings of good friends in far away places, planning weekend getaways, etc.  I can’t even begin to put a price tag on the amount of help that we give them literally every single day.

They know how lucky they are, and so do we. There’s lots of talk here about the “price you pay when you let the boomers meddle,” but that is just something that people on the defensive make up.  The truth is, our kids and their kids would not have anything close to the family lives that they have now if it weren’t for us.  But we don’t ever tell them that.  We don’t have to.  They know it.

Women wait too long to have kids, especially around here, and they’re too driven in their careers and in all the competition to prioritize.  They move away from or become semi-estranged from their parents in the relentless pursuit of opportunity and personal fulfillment.  Then they get all resentful when parents and other family members can’t or won’t drop everything so they can “have it all.”

[/quote]

You seem quite smug and self-important, and clearly haven't read the thread. It's great that you and your kids have found something that works for you, but your situation is not everyone's situation. You seem to think everything can just be cured by women foregoing education and economic success by prioritizing marriage and children, and by maintaining close relationships with their parents. Those choices have a different set of consequences, some negative. I'd argue that your situation isn't entirely ideal either, for several reasons.  [/quote]

Um, all four of our daughters have masters degrees and productive and high paying jobs.  At least two of them out earn their husbands - not that anyone cares.

Not sure how you got the impression that our kids compromised on education or career.  They didn’t have to - they had our help.

By the way, it’s not just us helping them.  It’s each of them helping each other.

Maybe folks should think twice before moving away from their families to the furthest corners of the earth. [/quote]

You seem to assume that everyone has parents and siblings as loving and helpful as your family and that they just moved away for no legitimate reason--and if they had stayed, their family would help them raise their kids. What's your solution for people who come from abusive homes? Or who grew up with a parent or sibling with an addiction? What about people who grew up in impoverished areas? Or whose parents were emotionally or verbally abusive? Do you suggest all of those people never leave and raise their kids near their families so that they have help?

Families are complex, as are people. The fact that you think it's as simple as "you could have help if you hadn't moved away" says a lot about about your narrow, sheltered perspective. [/quote]

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