Reply to stubborn senior declaring she would rather die falling at home than go into a nursing home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother is 90 and still in good condition.  She's still working because she wants to, not because she needs to.  And she's in good shape.  That said, she's still 90 and we know it.  But Dad was 6  years older and passed 3 years ago when he was 93.  He had some short stints of going into rehabilitation and he hated those stays and never wanted to stay there.  He wanted to leave as soon as he could get anyone to sign off on letting him come home.  Mom cared for him at home, so she fully understands that those facilities are like.

My mother has a DNR and orders not to perform any actions that would prolong her life.  She is living at home by herself and she cares for herself.  The kids all live out of state, but we have a family friend who lives 1 mile from her and checks in on her about every other day.  She also has friends that she sees a couple of times a week and they would (and have) called me if they could not get a hold of her.

It's not ideal, but in the long run, I know that she is much happier at home than she would be in an assisted living facility and she's lived a long and full life.  So we respect her decision and we check in on her regularly and we stagger our visits with her so that she has kids or grandkids visiting as often as possible.  I think that cutting her life short by a few months is better than her living what she would consider a living h*ll for a few years.  I would rather she be happy with her life than have a longer unhappy life. [/quote]

I agree.  We promised our mom that she wouldn’t go to a nursing home.  When she fell ill, we rearranged our schedules to help her.  Not just her kids, but her grandchildren as well.  She died peacefully at home and I am so glad we kept our promise.  She was 87.  She was also welcome to live with any of us, if the situation came to that, but she wanted to live in her home.  It was the least we could do for her.[/quote]

I agree with you both. My dad died of cancer at home. I would never send anyone I loved to live in a nursing home unless they wanted to go.[/quote]

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