Reply to DH does not take care of any life administration tasks

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in a similar situation . You absolutely have to stop handling his personal relationships. You don’t need to talk to his mom , set up visits with his sister he should do all of that . Same with his friends . You’re not his mom so this is ridiculous . Start handing him some of his own tasks , doctor appointments, he should do his own laundry etc. it will feel good for you to let go but you need to let go !!!![/quote]

+1 He should handle his personal stuff and if that doesn't get done, that's on him.

My DH has ADHD so I am sympathetic to the challenges that creates. Fortunately for him, I actually love the researching, organizing, etc. of a lot of life admin so I don't mind that. We tend to divide work by giving him well defined units of life that have natural reminders build in because that way I could drop the rope and not get into reminding him or directing the work which would happen if I'm the planner/organizer and he's the do-er. So when the kids were little he was in charge of their baths. I didn't have to remind since it was a daily or sometimes every-other-day thing, always at the same time, and if he didn't restock supplies that was on him. He handles all dish washing (visible reminder if they stack up) and all grocery shopping (from a shared list we keep in the kitchen, he's going to notice when he runs out of necessary things). He does his laundry and most of the household laundry (sheets, towels, etc.) The rest of us do our own clothing. He pays the day-to-day bills because they visually stack up in the same spot in the house (if it were me I'd have them all online w/ autopay but he wants to do this job so he can handle it how he wants to) but I handle all our long-range financial planning, investments, taxes, etc.

For the most part this works well but only because I actually don't mind admin stuff, he is appreciative of my efforts, does take ownership of his things, and recognizes and deals with his ADHD.[/quote]

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