Reply to impact of Alcoholics Anonymous on marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous]I haven’t read all responses am just responding to the OP.

You need to read and educate yourself and attend Al-Anon meetings either in person or online if you prefer. This is critical because you seem to have not grasped - you don’t mention it - that alcoholism is a family systems disease and you have played an active role in your husband’s alcoholism in some form or fashion that constitutes enabling. Of course you and your husband are disconnected, that is likely a big feeding factor of his active disease process. There is much work to be done to heal all these issues and it’s not all on your husband to do this work.

I’m not attacking you, please understand that. I am speaking to you as an adult child of an alcoholic father who did not work the program and whose enabling mother never acknowledged or accepted her role in the family system she created with her addicted husband and so together they spent decades of his sobriety continuing to be highly dysfunctional and miserable because he was just a dry drunk and she continued to enable. All of their four children struggle today with substance use disorders and poor mental health and physical health which are manifestations of decades of trauma and dysfunctional interpersonal relationships.

Work the program, invest fully in your family’s recovery. You are only as sick as your secrets. It’s probably time to talk about a healthy way to explain to your children that daddy goes to group therapy to help him process his stress and feelings about life. Children should learn early and often to identify and discuss feelings, especially the children of addicts who run a massively higher risk of developing addictive behaviors themselves when struggling with the many stresses of life.[/quote]

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