Reply to Husband won't take the kids swimming of even go with us.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors.  Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

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This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married? [/quote]

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

[b]Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?[/b] [/quote]

I׳’m wondering this too.  It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family. [/quote]

[b]Op here.[/b] This has been my norm for so long. The oldest was born when he was toward the end of a stem Ph.D. It was my norm to do things alone because he was busy. Our oldest is 7. I think he has anxiety and can't stop working. On the fourth, he worked at home while we went to the fireworks. He couldn't spare a few hours even though it was a PTO day. [b]When the oldest was born, he left the hospital to work even though he could have called off work.[/b] My friend came to stay and was shocked he left. I had an emergency c section and the baby was in the NICU. He doesn't value outings. I get not wanting to go out all the time, but mostly every suggestion gets shut down, or he's whiny and wants to leave shortly after arriving. That's why I said he sucks the joy. He also tries to give me a bedtime. He sleeps super early so we never have alone time either. I can't remember the last time we watched tv together. He always finds something wrong with whatever tv show I want to watch.

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He left his newborn in the hospital to go to work, and you still figured out how to have a second child with him.

He’s telling you over and over that he’s a miserable person and at best a lazy parent. What, pray tell, is getting in the way of you just ending this marriage?

Please don’t say that he’ll have the kids half-time because he won’t take that.

Do you just like being a victim who doesn’t deserve a great life, or are you ready to take control and create your own happiness? [/quote]

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