Reply to Husband won't take the kids swimming of even go with us.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors.  Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

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This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married? [/quote]

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

[b]Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?[/b] [/quote]

I׳’m wondering this too.  It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family. [/quote]Eh, I know of people who don’t care for fireworks and never go.  [/quote]

It isn’t about what he “cares for.” It’s doing things as a family, including holidays, that the kids he chose to have want to do with their FAMILY, not just their mom while their dad sits at home on his butt.[/quote]

Op here. Yes, this. It's selfish to always do only what you like. We have kids, and there's also me, his wife. If something is important to the other person, you should try to compromise. He may be mildly autistic. I'm just so drained and since he has the kids watching tv ALL DAY  while I work a nontraditional schedule, I feel guilty and want to bring the kids out when I come home from work. I'd rather sit on the sofa. I also always come home to a sink full of dishes and food all over the floor. And yes, I have asked him a million times to do these chores so I am not stressed when I get home. Does he do them? Rarey. I prepare all their food while I am away because he won't cook. [/quote]

Okay, he’s immature and a crappy partner. We get it.  So how can we (DCUM) help? [/quote]

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