Reply to Life is unfair. Why do I struggle so much to accept this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From meditation, I’ve learned that thoughts are neutral and pass. It’s when we can’t stop chasing after the thought that we struggle. It sounds like you are chasing the thought. What if you just watched the thought instead?

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OP here. Trust me, I do -- I practice mindfulness everyday (meditation was not right for me, though I did it for quite some time as well). I have practiced this detachment from this thought many, many times. It always comes back, and still I am left with this uncomfortable feeling of resentment.[/quote]

What specifically are you resenting? I was with you on the general unfairness of how wealth and career success is distributed in our capitalist society, but you lost me at having confidence and friends.

There awful things you cannot predict, prevent or control - devastating medical diagnoses, tragic losses due to accidents and natural disasters, etc. If you lost your child to gun violence or cancer or your home to a fire or tornado, that is awful. You should grieve and seek therapy to deal with your grief.

There are ways we’re all dealt a bad hand. I’m financially secure, but I’m fat. I’m sure I’d be wealthier if I had married a more ambitious man, been diagnosed with ADHD as a child instead of in my 30s, taken more risks, or been born into a wealthier white collar family so I would have “known how to play the game” early in my career. However those things don’t stress me out - probably because I did some work with a CBT therapist in my early 20s. I can’t control what is in the past and I can’t control others - but I can control how I feel and how I react. I’m not saying I am never jealous, but I am able to sit with that feeling and ask myself what I want to do about it. Sometimes I may determine my actions don’t align with my goals and make a change. Sometimes I may decide that the thing I am jealous of is just a substitute for something else bothering me or that having it would not actually make me happy.

Overall practicing my loose version of CBT / mindfulness for 20+ years has allowed me to feel the things you are feeling OP and then let them go. It also allows me to take responsibility for my actions and feelings and seek change where I want it. 
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