Reply to Suddenly Single at 30

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][twitter] if[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is what he was thinking 
I am in a relationship 
I am in a relationship!!
She, having birthday.
Me, small boy.
Oh no, she wants me to grow now.
I got to go now!

(You can sing this) [/quote]
Eh we were together for a year and he helped me through a crappy job situation, a layoff, finding a new job, moving, and lots of misc. anxiety. I don't think he's a bad guy at his core. Which is why it feels so out of left field. [/quote]

If so, then perhaps he feels that you’re a lot of work and he doesn’t get back much from you.[/quote]
Everyone goes through rough patches, though. Leaving someone just because they had a rough year and needed more support isn't fair.[/quote]

Perhaps he saw a pattern, a personality trait that does not work for him. A year is more than enough to notice these things. It really doesn’t matter in the end, OP can find another guy. [/quote]
I am OP. I want to be clear, I do not think my ex is a bad guy for dumping me. People are entitled to leave relationships. What I am mad about is that it wasted a year and that he did it in a shitty way and frankly, I do think more discussion would've been warranted. This wasn't a three month situationship where we only texted each other after dark and hooked up. This was real. This was a year of meeting each other's family and friends, going on vacation together, and supporting each other.

I apologize for being defensive but he was a bad communicator. I frequently asked "You do so much for me, is there anything I can do for you?" to which he would always say no, he's used to being independent, has difficulty accepting help, etc. I remember one night he seemed very stressed about work so I asked if he needed to talk and he was like, no, I have difficulty opening up when I'm really stressed, and it's hard for me to share my feelings with you, but we'll get there. It was not difficult for me to accept help or share feelings.

I actually asked him the other night, what's my biggest red flag and he said "You have none. I wish you did, because then I'd feel less bad." If he was unhappy about anything - he alternates between saying he was unhappy for a week and unhappy for "a long time," which was news to me - he owed me a conversation and the opportunity to fix it. That is what I do in relationships, that is what every other guy I've dated has done, that's what my friends and their boyfriends do.

And I'm sorry to be defensive and spew verbal diarrhea everywhere. But I feel really blindsided by this whole thing.[/quote]

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