Reply to When people who don’t know you, dislike you

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh, I am struggling with this. I have learned that two women from my broader friend/social group (overlapping groups from grad school, work, and hobbies) apparently really dislike me and voice this opinion when often to people I know (which is how it made its way back to me).

I get not everyone likes everyone. Heck, I don’t like everyone. But this one is irking me because these women don’t actually know me. I’ve never interacted with them 1:1 or even in a small group. I’ve only ever spent time with them at big gatherings where I might have spent a few minutes speaking in the same group, but that’s the max of our interactions.

So I guess they just dislike me on sight? My general vibe? Have heard things about me they hate? It’s just weird to me. There are a handful of people I really dislike, but I have actual reasons for it, like I worked with them for years and they were a jerk to me consistently. I can’t think of anyone I hate or even dislike despite never having spent any time with them or interacted in a meaningful way.

I know I should just not care but it is really bothering me because it feels arbitrary, and also because they are so vocal about it, apparently. I have half a mind to call them out on it but I know that’s probably a mistake.

I don’t care if the like me or not, I just don’t understand why they HATE me.[/quote]

OP seriously, be glad to be free of those worthless b&tches.  People who are happy with their lives don't gossip. Full stop.[/quote]

Honestly I would probably try to avoid that whole social group after this. I don't blame you for feeling terrible and confused - and it does sound like the friend who relayed this info is a sh**-stirrer. You have no idea what those other two women said or think, but I can't think of any good reason for this to be showing up at your doorstep.

Do you have to socialize a lot with any of these people? Can you go find yourself some less drama-seeking people to hang out with?[/quote]

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