Reply to I tattled on my BIL

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "I tattled on my BIL"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think what you did was ‘tattling’ and who cares if it irks BIL?? Maybe his MIL will guilt him into actually watching his own children!  Your job is to protect your kids, and it sounds like you have told BIL to his face repeatedly NOT to dump his kids on your teen, and he doesn’t listen! So I think it’s a good thing you explained why you said no to MIL.

When MIL heard your concerns, did she agree to only bring the older kids? If she already invited the whole family, then you just say no, or you go along and help supervise and/or hold the line with BIL and the kid dumping.  Maybe MIL can plan another birthday outing for the tweens, or maybe not, but standing up for your oldest is more important. I am stressed enough looking after my own three kids at a huge water park, I can’t imagine doing it as a teenager with cousins who may or may not listen to him and stay together etc. Not only would it be stressful in the moment, if something were to happen on his watch, he would live with the guilt the rest of his life. [/quote]

Op cares if it irks the BIL becomes now things are awkward. The cost of being right can be too steep if you ruin relationships. [/quote]

Awkward for BIL, who is now found out to be a NEGLECTFUL PARENT who fobs off a one-year old on a teen, you mean? No wonder MIL and he had words. As a Grandmother, I don't think MIL is too pleased with her useless son.

It is on the teen's parent to protect them from being exploited. And the best way to stop this is to speak out: "BIL, you always drop off the kids with Larlo and expect him to watch your one-year old baby and the others. In what universe do you think this is safe for your kids? Larlo isn't a professional nanny, and it stresses him out. He's not going to have good memories of your family dropping by if he's always supposed to watch his cousins, and he certainly won't remember YOU fondly. Stop using him. If you want him to babysit occasionally, you should request his services and pay him the going rate."

OP chose to tell MIL, which is fine too, and not a moment too soon.

Can't believe you people walking on eggshells around this loser user.

[/quote]

Ok but there goes the best friend, cousins, and perhaps ties to their deceased fathers family bc of something that isn’t even OPs problem. Most people don’t go through life burning every bridge when you could be more tactful.[/quote]

But tact is not working! Continuing to capitulate is prioritizing BIL over her child. [/quote]

Calm down. OP isn't nearly as worked up over this and is calling it an annoyance. Why a 15 yr old wants to continue hanging out with this group is the real issue here. What 15 yr old wants to go to a water park with all these much younger cousins and no same aged friend? My teen would certainly rather stay home. If the teen doesn't even go, problem solved.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics