Reply to Difficult niece

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Difficult niece - family trip"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]-Your 11 year old needs to learn to advocate for herself
-You and your dh can step in if you see that the niece is driving her crazy
-You can talk to your SIL
-You can put a sleeping bag in your room for her

[b]I think avoiding awkward situations actually increases anxiety in the long run. Give her tools to deal with it and she will see that's it's not as bad as she pictured in her mind.[/b] [/quote]
This, exactly.  I don't think you're doing her any favors.  It sounds like it's "anxiety" when it's something she doesn't want to do.  Like she's got anxiety about sharing a room.  [/quote]

They can avoid the whole thing by not having the girls share a room. They can always move them together, if the girls get along well this year. [/quote]

And then avoid it when she doesn't like her college roommate?
The fact that we are normalizing anxiety in an 11 year old whose biggest problem is rooming with a cousin on vacation just blows my mind.
Does she have a diagnosis OP? Is she medicated and/or seeing a therapist? Her dh clearly thinks she's coddling her and I would agree based on the info provided.  If she's getting mental health treatment, then I might change opinions.  [/quote]
She would learn that she does not need to be stuck in an uncomfortable situation and [b]can advocate to change her college roommate[/b].

Not every unpleasant interaction requires a diagnosis. People (adult and young) can simply not get along.

[/quote]

Likely the answer would be no from a college outside of specific reasons, at least for the semester.  Advocating isn’t getting.[/quote]

Learned helplessness at its best.[/quote]

It’s setting your child up to fail to teach that she will get her way each and every time simply because she “advocates” to change something.  Using your voice is a skill but so is accepting the answer no.[/quote]
These are two different skills. One should always try to get out of an uncomfortable situation. [/quote]
That couldn't be further from the truth.  That's when growth happens.  It's uncomfortable to speak in public for some.  It's uncomfortable to take difficult exams.  I would have not accomplish half the stuff I have if I got myself out every time something was "uncomfortable". 
This is a pretty normal situation.  This is not putting OP's daughter in a hardship. You can't run from everything. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics