Reply to Why isn’t it socially acceptable to say that you regret having kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People are not good critical thinkers in today's society and incorrectly conflate "regretting the choice to become a parent" with "regretting the existence of one's beloved children as human beings." It's not the same. The former is about yourself. The latter is about the kid(s).

I do think it's becoming more socially acceptable to say it privately/anonymously. Reddit is full of these stories.

I think we all regretted it a bit during COVID lockdown, honestly.[/quote]

This is where I am.  If I had full disclosure about everything prior to having my children, I may not have made the same choice.  The loss of career, the CPTSD, the unusual additional costs, the years of intensity and stress that have taken their toll both mentally and physically and fact that after a quarter century there is still parenting to be done would weigh heavily on my decision.  It has been a very long slow slog. [/quote]

Hmm I'm assuming you're about my age and it just [b]boggles my mind that there are people who claim not to know anything of how difficult children and their care and keeping is.[/b]
That information is out there. I find people very often ignore it thinking it will be different for them, do and so is so dramatic, fomo, and it's just what mature people are supposed to do.[/quote]

I was clueless. Never changed a diaper before my child. They are expensive AF. Never considered school cost until it was rime for daycare AF. I just was no thinking about the logistics snd how things add up financially and mentally. Just because you were exposed early to this doesn’t mean others were.[/quote]

[b]It never ceases to amaze me how little thought most people give to these kinds of major life decisions.[/b]  It's hard to have sympathy for this kind of willful ignorance.  You really never gave it any thought?  [/quote]

This is a little unfair.  Most people have children.  Or at least most married couples do.   It seems like the typical thing to do.  Looking back I should have questioned having kids, but I thought that something literally everyone I know is doing must be okay.  I didn’t think that it would be easy or a breeze, but I also didn’t think I would regret it like I do.  I truly feel like an outlier.  I can tell even making lunch plans that I’m the only mom who doesn’t want to being her 6 year old to lunch.  The other moms seem to love the play dates, mommy/daughter lunches etc.  I just want to go to lunch with adults.  Again I had no idea.  [/quote]

Not just you. There are others of us who share this exact sentiment. I would rather eat a hot lunch alone than go on a play date with a bunch of kids screaming. I made my decision to have kids so I do everything to make the best life for my child and myself and our family. Lot’s of people make permanent (regretful) decisions but it’s how you choose to deal with it that matters. I don’t do as many “kid friendly” activities as some moms but my child has adapted and we make it work for us. [/quote]

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