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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -

At dcum it seems as though the majority of folks have a thought process that grandparents money, kids money, and grandkids money are distinct and separate and not to be intermingled as it’s shameful to do so.

It’s not that way in my family. I’ll gladly give my kids a few hundred grand when I’m older if that accelerates their success - to buy their starter house and build equity, start up their first brokerage account, or eliminate the need for them from taking out student loans. This assumes they’re overall successful and won’t waste the money.

Similarly, theres a general understanding in my family that the money will get passed down to me anyway when the parents pass away. Leveraging some of it now to enable my success in life is just a more efficient way to operate and puts me and my kids in a better situation. Again, if I was a bum then I’m sure this wouldn’t be the case.

In return, my parents are free to move in with me anytime or choose to live independently. Everyone lives in McLean anyway so it’s easy enough to drive 5 minutes. My goal is really to find some areas to cut back/ be more efficient in managing my money until I get to the point where I don’t feel house poor because I overspent on my house. I blame the crazy market and where everyone else I know chose to buy more so than myself. Despite this, yes, there is some shame felt.

The optimal situation would be that I make so much money I can do whatever I want and don’t need a dime of help but that is not the case. I overspent on the house to optimize my distance to family, work, childcare, while being in the best school district. While rates were good last year, in this location, there was no such thing as a normal sized or priced house, it was 6k sq foot or a tear down.

On the furniture, yes it’s Wayfair/Facebook/Costco for now and limited to key areas of the house. You can find some great deals there. There’s no need to spend 15k on a couch. There will also be plenty of empty rooms for now. [/quote]

OP you tried to punch wayy above your weight and also had your parents help out big time with the downpayment I bet.  What did they contribute? 300k I’m guessing.  Now you probably post pics on Instagram flaunting your new house and lifestyle like it’s you that earned it and deserve it.  You also put all your savings into what little downpayment you had to pay (if any at all?) and here you are trying to furnish this behemoth with what little money you have left.

You don’t deserve that house.  I think if I met you in real life I would not think very highly of you.  Your neighbors probably feel the same way.

We make similar to you, maybe a little more, and worked and saved to enjoy a house we deserve to live in with no strings attached.   I don’t envy your position OP.  Good luck and hopefully this situation leads to some self reflection and reexamination.

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