Reply to Boyfriend blows up every time the house is messy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was on your side until you said the kitchen isn’t clean at night. That’s actually gross - leaving dirty dishes or crumbs on the counters. It was the wrong thing we make sure is clean before bed - no matter what. Even if we have a major dinner party, every dish is done before bed. And really, it’s a much more pleasant morning when you enter a clean kitchen.[/quote]

Why is cleaning the kitchen her job, though?  He's the one with the higher standards, and they both eat dinner together.  When a woman says her husband is a slob the response is "you just have unnecessarily high standards, if you care so much you clean it and don't be a nag."  Now a girlfriend says her boyfriend blows up at her about crumbs on the counter that were there when *they both went to bed after dinner* and the response is "be a better homemaker, it's really important and pleasant when your kitchen is clean!"

OP dump this guy and don't come to misogyny.com for advice.[/quote]

I think these are just standards that won't annoy people and are just good habits. No one should treat them like a bomb just went off though. They are just habits to cultivate.[/quote]

So he should cultivate them.  Why is he going to bed with a dirty kitchen?[/quote]

Maybe he does clean and is tired of OP not ever doing it. I find it interesting that is this was reversed with a female OP talking about how her boyfriend leaves dishes out overnight, dirty clothes on the floor, etc. no one would say it’s her job to clean them. They’d be suggesting the fair play cards and getting him to do his share of cleaning. But now it’s the boyfriend’s job to clean the kitchen if he doesn’t want to live in filth?

And maybe OP is accurate and this guy is verbally abusive. Or maybe he has just reached the end of his rope with living in mess and isn’t handling it well. Either way they’re not compatible. But I think OP should adopt better habits for future relationships or date someone with low standards of cleanliness. If she is living like this before kids, I can’t imagine what her house will look like as a mom. [/quote]

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