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[quote=Anonymous]My DH is a biglaw partner and I have a very flexible but rewarding full-time position in academia. I would never give up my job because it is important for my identity, so we make it work in other ways. It's all about what you value/prioritize and how you want your DH to spend his very limited free time. I personally care more about freeing up DH to spend time us than having him help out on household tasks, so managing the outsourcing to facilitate this doesn't make me resentful.

You can outsource a lot more than you currently are. We do:
-cleaners 
-landscaping/yard work fully outsourced
-automate where feasible like household essentials on subscription, meal kits, bills on autopay and calendar alerts for everything else like seasonal or routine home maintenance, well checks, etc
-nanny M-F, and I am able to end my day by 4pm most days or I would have a second nanny shift
-hire extra help for evenings and weekends if you need it
-in our case, we are really lucky to have involved grandparents nearby who help with sick days
-limiting the number of ECs at a given time and trying to coordinate the activities between kids like stacking music lessons with the same teacher. I love this last one because I get 1:1 time with both kids during the other one's lesson and I only do one day of driving for both lessons.

I also currently have a college student who comes over Saturday and Sunday from 9-3 to help me. I value time with my kids so she mostly does errands, organizing and household tasks but sometimes I use the time to exercise or go on a brunch date with DH and she does a fun activity with the kids. It has made me much more relaxed and less tired by the end of the weekend. [/quote]

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