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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 11 stands in the garage until we see the bus coming, instead of going to the stop which is probably only 50 feet away.

She's not a morning person and we let her wait for the bus as she wants.

It's not rude to want a little space[/quote]

But your daughter is coming up with a solution that affords her space without ignoring someone who is greeting her.

Also, you can say hi and still have space. You can say "Hi" and then turn to talk to your mom or get out a book to read. You can even say "Hi -- I'm going to take some space for myself, I'm just not a morning person."

Ignoring someone who says hello to you, that you know and see on a regular basis, actually IS rude, even if the reasons behind it are understandable. It's worth it to teach kids that they can set boundaries with other people without just shutting others out or ignoring them.[/quote]

In OP original post  "She stands at the top of her driveway, while my DD stands on the curb. "

Leave this girl the hell alone![/quote]

OP here... I truly mean this without any snark... but how is saying a quick "good morning" while giving her the physical space she seems to want, bothering her?  Or enough to illicit a "Leave this girl the hell alone!" response? It's not like my DD is forcing her to have a conversation or invading her personal space. 
[/quote]

DP - I don't know, but it clearly is, so your DD should stop doing it.

Look, OP, none of us know this girl, so none of us can say why she's behaving this way.  And no one here is saying "this behavior is ideal, I hope my kid acts this way!"  Yes, the kid is being rude.  You've been given a ton of potential reasons why she might be acting like this that don't make her a mean girl.  Why not lean into one of those?  This is a 9 year old child.   Mornings can be tough, social interactions can be tough, school can be tough -- yes, she's being rude, but why not just assume it's not because she's inherently mean and have some empathy.  How does it help the situation to assume that it's because she's a mean person?[/quote]

+2.  I don't believe you OP that your concern here is to make the world a more polite place.  You seem to think this girl is mean or this is personal towards your daughter.  In substantial likelihood that is not the case...unless there is more info here we don't have.  (And I don't think the girl has SN.  I just think she's probably not a morning person/introverted/rough around the politeness edges.)  Explain this to your DD in an age appropriate way and please move on.

(And what her mom is talking about -- excluding a child from a game at recess or similar -- IS actually mean.  Even if 8 yr olds are not friends, there is no reason to actively disallow someone to play with you at recess.  Good for the mom for saying something, actually.)[/quote]

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