Reply to “I’d rather have a happy kid at UMD than a miserable one at Harvard”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven't read the whole thread, but this is something I would think (but I didn't write it here).

I'm also the PP of the thread where my high flyer kid is coming home from school saying things like "Larlo says I need to quit theater tech crew (which he loves) to join the math team (which he would hate, my kid likes math, but he doesn't like competing in that way).  Larlo says that if I don't have good extracurriculars, I won't get in anywhere for college!"

So, what I mean is that I'd rather my kid followed his heart and did what he loved (within reason), than jump through hoops in hopes that he lands at Harvard or MIT instead of UMD or VT.

Now, having said that, if my kid does whatever he does and then it turns out Harvard does like tech theater and offers him a space?  Sure he can go if he chooses.  I don't think my kid would be happier at UMD than at Harvard, I trust he'd visit both and know which is right*.  But if the cost of Harvard is 4 years of high school spent giving up what he loves and pretending to be someone else?  Then that's a cost I'd rather he didn't pay.

*This assumes the net price calculators that say they'd both cost similar amounts for us are correct.  
[/quote]

This is the truth.  Your evidence?  All of the threads from decision days about how the kid wasted their high school years and didn’t get in.  How all of their hard work was a waste.  Way too many kids are doing things just for college admission, not because of any interest or intrinsic motivation.  It’s sad and I tend to think those kids will be angry.  The problem is they are angry at schools who were clear that they do holistic admissions and have minuscule admissions rates, not at their parents and neighbors who pressured them to do the activities and classes they had no interest in.[/quote]
I started a thread about whether being  in a magnet was worth it for college admissions in terms of T20.  It wasn't for my DC, or for many others.  A lot end up at the flagship, which isn't that easy to get into to begin with, but it didn't require being in a magnet.

Having stated that, of course, there are benefits to being in a magnet that has nothing to do with college admissions. It was the best experience and path for my DC who needed the challenge, and DC didn't struggle at all in the magnet. But, DC has seen a lot of other kids struggle academically, not to mention the commute hours reducing sleep time.

So, I believe the teacher in a magnet PP who stated that they have seen kids come in really really upset.

I could've put more pressure on DC to achieve more, and DC even agrees that if I had done that, they would've had a much better chance at a T15. But, DC would've been miserable and angry at me all the time. I don't want that kind of relationship with my child, nor do I want them to be so unhappy.

DC will be fine at the large flagship, and I know they will go on to get a good job and be happy with their lives.

DC calls me the most un-Asian American parent they've come across.[/quote]

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