Reply to “I’d rather have a happy kid at UMD than a miserable one at Harvard”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

This is absolutely false. When a parent withholds love from a child early on and only grants it when the child is achieving, the child will do anything for the love. Period. To assume they would rebel is naive.

By the time they are an adult, they will feel resentment.[/quote]

+1. I know lots of my peers have lots of issues with their overbearing parents but don't have the energy or boldness to confront them.[/quote]

+1000 
I knew this 30+ years ago while in college at a T10.  I knew several kids taking premed courses and hating it but didn't have the guts to inform their parents that they were miserable and did NOT want to be a doctor.  So they took the 2nd semester of organic chemistry and continued to do terrible and be extremely miserable.  Why would a parent want their kid to be afraid of telling them they hated their major/path in life?   I want my kids to be happy.  They can major in whatever they want.  We did however have discussions with them about what various majors mean in terms of job prospects/job pay/is a BA or BS enough or do you need a MS/MA or PHD to really use the major the way you want and do meaningful work.  They can be an art history major if they want, but they need to know what likely job prospects are and what they can do to improve job proscpets with say a business minor or data analytics or CS minor, etc and that finding an internship while in college will be key towards finding a job upon graduation.

I just want them to be happy and aware of what their path in life will entail---want to be a bio or chem major and not be premed, then you are still in for some grad work unless you want to be a grunt worker in someone else's lab because you will need an advanced degree to lead the bio/chem lab.   [/quote]
+1 my DD would love to major in theater, but she also likes her comfortable life and material things. I told her that having that kind of life requires money, and that being a theater major is probably not going to earn them very much.

So, pick your path.. do you want to love what you do (theater) but not have a comfortable financial life, or do you want to find something you can be good at and make enough to live comfortably while doing theater as a hobby?

DD is a sophomore, and for now, they will probably not choose theater, but if they do, they can't' say they were not warned or told.  We don't come from a wealthy family, and DD knows that.  We've always impressed upon our kids about financial stability and independence. I grew up lower income, and into my early 20s, and I shared my experiences growing up this way with my kids.  They don't want to live that way, and I don't want them to live the way I did.[/quote]

The theater majors I know in my generation are all doing fine.  [/quote]

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