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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]ugh - one of my WORST professional moments, ever for a number of reasons. I was speaking at a conference and referenced another speakers presentation. I couldn't remember her name (strike 1) and instead of just skipping it or referring to her without name, I said "as the lady from CompanyName alluded,"

So bad. My boss (also a woman) was there, and reamed me for it. Not that I wasn't already reaming myself. I couldn't believe I'd done something so stupid! The "lady" in question was offended and wouldn't accept my apology. That's too bad, because I offered it sincerely and said I don't know what I was thinking to make such a rookie slip (I was a rookie - about 25 at the time and just starting to do a lot of speaking) and she wouldn't even meet my eyes.

I've recovered and, although the "lady" is in the same industry as me. I'm actually well above her in terms of "rank" but I'm still really uncomfortable every time I see her. Like "deep down, this woman knows I am an idiot under all of this professionalism!" She still doesn't acknowledge me, which I think at this point says more about her than me.

I will never call someone "lady" again, and I've since become MUCH more diligent about remembering names and also employing a better filter, professionally.

[/quote]

"The lady from CompanyName' clearly had issues. Come on, she wouldn't accept your apology for forgetting her name?? What kind of 'professionalism' is that?

[/quote]

I agree. Worse, at the time she was pretty big league and I was just starting out - it's not like she was slighted by some big wig trying to belittle her. I think she was most offended that I didn't defer to her properly as much as the "lady," which obviously sounded dismissive of her stature and importance. At the same time, the whole thing was so clumsy of me - not just calling her "the lady from" or whatever, but the apology, etc, ack. One of those days I'd rather forget!

I do think using "lady" is somewhat demeaning. To me it has a hint of "the little lady" to it. Seems patronizing. I have no problem hearing it in social settings and can't imagine being upset if someone used it to describe me in shorthand as the "lady from CompanyName" as I did many years back (though it would probably strike me that that person was clumsy and awkward, as I think I was). But I can totally get why "lady" is a trigger word. There's "the little lady" and there's the way "lady" can be used in a mean way, like "look, lady..." I think lady has emotional connotations that can be tangled up. So unless you're talking to your friends, skip it. [/quote]

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