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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op again- the friend issue is easily identifiable if he reads this so I don’t want to give as much detail, but basically was a close friends surprising and verbally aggressive attack toward me for feeling slighted from an event. Both my husband and I were at fault for the perceived slight, but the friend chose me to attack and my husband threw me under the bus and let me take the heat. He was present when it occurred. [/quote]

OP you need to go to a therapist and explore whether you have borderline personality. “Getting attacked for feeling slighted at an event then attacking my DH for not defending me from the attack” is classic. [/quote]

Op- I just reread what I wrote and agree it is confusing to readers. The situation that occurred was that the friend felt slighted by my husband and I about an event we were hosting. The friend then suddenly and surprisingly verbally attacked us (mostly me) and my husband retreated, i assertively stood up for us in the moment, and then my husband criticized me at home in private for defending us. [/quote]

OP, I say this with love.  You were 100% wrong in this situation with the friend.
Your friend was deeply hurt for being slighted and expressed himself terribly.   However, as the host, YOU were WRONG in your response.  As the host, you do not argue with your guest and create a potential scene at YOUR event.   At THAT moment, as the host, you should have apologized profusely for the slight.  Discussing or defending why the slight may have occurred should have come at a later date privately.  
Your DH did not get involved because both you and the friend were on 100.   Your DH did not know how to diffuse the situation and did not want to escalate it further.

Also, both you MIL and friend knows that your DH was partly to blame in both situations.  However, sometimes, it is very hard to blame the person who we are closest too (your DH) and easier to blame another (YOU).

I agree with the posters that suggested therapy for you.  It seems that there’s a lot being piled on your plate.

No divorce here💞[/quote]

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