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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Holding my boundary. Let him be mad."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Asons taking turns, giving each other time, splitting the day doesn’t work, absolutely nothing happens if one partner simply doesn’t do what they agreed to do. It’s not like he can’t come with his own kid whenever he damn well pleases. It’s also not like you can force him to take the kid anyplace either. I agree With one poster, what about the love as a family unit? What about tender moments spent as a family and as parents and a couple watching your kid learn about the world? I “get” it, not every moment is fun and tender, but you two aren’t sharing anything together during time that is unstructured, if you are enjoying the park, keep enjoying it.. if not, then go do something else. I’m betting good money you guys live in an area that sucks with kids. You may not know it yet, you may not admit it yet, but the only people I know who do this either live in a place where there is not much to do with kids, or they are getting ready to divorce, one or both have found other partners or are at least looking for them.. why exactly was your husband so tired, Grandma did all the childcare.. did he actually stay at his mom’s house or just drop the kid off? I’d be wondering and no, I’m not kidding. Why can’t the three of you eat lunch together, presumably you all need to eat right? Where is your husband having dinner and who is he with? Again, he should be eating with you and his kid or taking you out for date night.. Saturday night dinner is prime couple time and as a married person it should be spent with you. And, your kid isn’t learning what you think she’s learning, she’s learning that neither parent wants to be with her. I’d put an end to this splitting the day nonsense. If you want to work out, find a gym with a kids club, at 3, your kid will enjoy it. Also, let your kid grow up a bit, by 3, they should be able to hang loose while you shower and they will be dropping the nap meaning they’ll need the skill set to entertain themselves a bit.. are you set up for that, do you have things she can do that don’t require you to be there, “hey, play with these blocks so I can shower” should be something your kid understands by this point. The kid is 3 after all, not 1, when I read this, I thought we were dealing with a young toddler. My oldest was 3 when she came into the bathroom and told me “Mommy, you need to get out of the shower now, there’s a big storm coming”. I thought she was referring to something she saw on one of her shows.. until I heard the thunder. Your kid is way more fun and way more capable then you are realizing. It also makes me sad that you didn’t enjoy her as a baby and toddler, I used to absolutely love taking my babies and toddlers for walks with my husband, it was neat seeing how they processed the world. I loved walking with my husband with both of our hands on the stroller. I remember being out with my husband and one of our kids had a huge tantrum so we made it a point to walk past a group of teenage couples. Our kid didn’t get the joke, I’m not sure the teens did either, but we still laugh about that.. this is what adorable babies turn into boys and girls,. If you guys were as committed to your marriage and child as you are your free time, we wouldn’t be here. [/quote] We split a day just like OP and her daughter. My DH learned to take care of the kids without always having to ask me where everything was or how to do things. They bonded and did things I don’t really like to do; he had a lot more patience for endless metro rides than I did. AND we spent time as a family, going for walks and eating, etc. AND we are still happily married. I think OP is doing the right thing.[/quote]
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