Reply to Dating someone whose ex has full custody of their kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, huuuuge red flag. Someone gave up their kids? They are a pos. End of story. [/quote]

Usually it’s not that they “gave them up,” but that their ex-partner basically stole custody.[/quote]

Not possible. If they don’t have them they didn’t do the barest minimum to fight for them. [/quote]

After a divorce, with child support, alimony, divorce costs, often men get stuck with the bulk of the expenses and they simply cannot afford the court battle.[/quote]

Every family court is more than equipped to do this with pro se litigants. The default rules heavily favor fair splits so it’s very hard for a mom to successfully avoid giving a willing dad his time. [/quote]

You really think a Dad will win pro se against an attorney and mom who makes up stories about how bad the dad is?  And, what if mom moved the kids cross country - that is still filing fees, plane tickets, hotel.  And, what about people who cannot travel freely like active duty?[/quote]

Not only do I think a dad will win pro se, up against a lawyer—I know he will. It happens absolutely every day.

Now if dad won’t give up a job that will prevent him from taking 50/50 custody you’re right. He won’t be granted 50/50 custody. Parenting is full of hard choices. Your husband made his choice. [/quote]

You are in la la land to think a dad with no legal experience can win 50-50.  And, how does that work when mom took the kids while he was at work and moved them cross-country without his or the courts permission?[/quote]

I live in the legal system. As a lawyer. Pro se litigants get a lot of leeway and the defaults are the defaults. If she kidnapped the children (parental kidnapping is kidnapping, the most common type actually) there is plenty of legal process available to the dad.

And this is so very easy to prove, because any legal process a mom has, a dad has. And moms (as a general rule) just do not sleep on their rights like this. Moms (far more than men) do whatever it takes to be reunited with their children.  When dads illegally take off with the kids, they use legal process to right the wrong. It’s the #1 reason you get Amber Alerts. [/quote]

Having been through it, I can tell you the courts don't care and do the absolute easiest path in the 10-minute hearing.  Criminals get more time in court for hearings than custody cases do.  It's an absolute joke.  Men don't have equal rights and what ever a mom wants to do is generally allowed.

And, if  you are cross country, prior to online filing, you'd have to fly out to file, which some cannot afford.  When a Dad takes off with the kids, usually the police and courts will help.  Not the same if the mom does something illegal.  We've called the police to enforce the custody order and they refused to help.[/quote]
Is this the new step moms perspective? [/quote]

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