Reply to How to help teen who lost all their elem-mid school friends because of rumors and bullying, canceled

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm reaching out for advice on behalf of my teen who recently lost all their friends from elementary to middle school due to rumors and other things that resulted in them being canceled. It's been a tough time for them, and it seems like they want to start over, but the kids in their school are vicious on social media, and it seems like the rumors just won't go away.

I'm at a loss on what to do. Moving to a new school or even a new area seems like the only option, but I'm not sure if that's the right decision. I don't remember the suburb areas being this vicious when I was growing up but social medial wasn't around so things died out over time and I'm wondering if it's because of all the cancel culture stuff going on.

Has anyone else experienced this with their children or themselves? How did you handle it, and what advice would you give? Should we consider moving, or is there another solution we haven't considered yet?

I would appreciate any insight or advice you can offer. Thank you in advance for your help.[/quote]

OP here, was in meetings

Part of the issue is that my child doesn't have a "winners and losers" attitude and refuses to push back against the aggressors. Even though my child has leverage to exclude the bullies and rumor makers and get back at them, they refuse to do so because they don't want to hurt them and believe that they will come around. It has been a tough time for my child, and it seems that this area breeds a very aggressive Type A personality. Although my child is also Type A with intelligence, able to lay out debates, etc., which is probably why they got into this in the first place, it seems that the only way to get them back is to help them cope with this situation.

The irony is that my child is already ahead of the others in terms of intelligence and accomplishments, and this will all be a moot point in college, but that's four years away. In the meantime, my child doesn't even want to go to the neighborhood pool or nearby restaurants for fear of running into the bullies.[/quote]

I’d help her work through it as much as possible, knowing that the DMV area is known for attacking others based solely on differing opinions. Parents and children alike.

There are many places in the country where your child would be welcome with open arms and debates and healthy discourse doesn’t automatically equal being iced out by so called friends.

She sounds like a lovely, mature young lady. Support her and help her find a different tribe, not one that necessarily agrees with her all the time, but that is open enough to understand the world is full of differences of opinions.

If you have to move to keep her from growing up in this toxic bubble environment then so be it. It will likely help her become more resilient in the future.[/quote]

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