Reply to Opinions on family rift and accepting apology

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me try to make a very long story short. My uncle, my dad’s brother, passed away about 10 years ago very unexpectedly. He left a good amount of money to my dad vs. leaving everything to his wife and kids (my aunt/cousins). It’s not entirely clear why he did this since my dad is about just as well off as he was, but he did. The suggestion was made that my dad should not keep the money and give it back to my aunt and cousins but he ignored it and kept the money. About 5 years ago my aunt passed away (she was only 60) and one my cousins started to really resent my dad for taking money she believed was rightfully hers. She said some really, really horrible things to my dad and step mother, and from then on there has been a major rift in the family and our two sides have not really spoken or seen one another since. It’s really sad because our family had always been very close, and give that my cousins’ parents both passed we would have loved to stay close with them.

I know my cousin said what she did out of pain for losing both of her parents, and while I know it will never be forgotten, I think I would be willing to forgive her and move on just to keep the family together. After significant therapy she issued what I consider to be a heartfelt apology to my dad, but he will not accept it or talk to her and told her to never contact her again. I happen to know that my dad would be willing to forgive her, but my step mom will not and has forbade my did from talking to her and hearing her out.

I am just curious what others think about this situation. If someone said and did horrendous things would you ever be willing to forgive them and move on?

I can’t fully explain what she said/did, but let’s just say it involved saying some nasty things about my step mom and accusing my dad of a crime and trying to get him arrested (which didn’t happen since her story was fabricated).[/quote]

I don't see this being resolved. Your uncle left a lot of money to his well-off brother when when he should have left it to his family- and your dad shouldn't have accepted it--it was morally wrong for him to accept it. Yes it sounds like your cousin shouldn't have lashed out by trying to have your dad arrested, but her anger is valid. I'm sure your stepmom is happy receiving money she's not entitled to, from someone she's not related to, at the expense of the person who lost both parents and should have received it. 
It's not a resolvable situation.[/quote]

In a nutshell - I agree. [/quote]

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