Reply to Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents were the first generation in their family to be middle class. Only one of my grandparents graduated high school.  My mother's mother only went to school until 4th grade. My parents stayed in their hometown and the urban neighborhood where they grew up. Several of my mother's brothers were in prison for drug dealing when I was a kid.  We avoided the police as much as possible, because our family had a bad reputation.

My husband's family has money and are also very, very WASPy.  They're very reserved and very into appearances.

We've been married 19 years and will probably stay married forever.

Reasons it works for us:

1. We went to the same private, liberal arts college. We have a shared educational/cultural background through our college.  We have similar educational goals and career goals for ourselves and our kids.

2. I learned better money skills than my mother taught me. Early in the marriage, I read "The Millionaire Next Door."   It helped explain money to me.

3.  My husband learned to relax about appearances and aesthetics. Lots of things that aren't "classy" are fun. There's nothing wrong with dressing down.  There's nothing wrong with letting the kids run a little wild in the proper environment.  There's nothing wrong with wearing character tshirts sometimes or going to McDonald's sometimes.  There are plenty of times when buying El Cheapo gear is better than buying brand name.

4.  We compromised on neighborhoods and bought more house than I wanted and considerably less than my husband wanted.

5.  We compromised on schools. When the expensive private school my husband favored didn't work for oldest son, we sent oldest son to public school. He loves it and is doing very well there. (DH had a really hard time with the move from private to public, but now says that I was right about sending oldest son to public.)

6.  I make sure that the kids are dressed appropriately to see the grandparents. They also have very lovely upperclass manners when they want to use them and the know to use them when they see the grandparents. [/quote]

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