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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They were abusive to me and then when I finally stood up to them, they humiliated me in a public way and people who should know better took their side and I wound up withdrawing and feeling worthless and basically have not seen any of those people since. It's been years.

I can't let go of my anger at this person. Just the layers of what they did, first taking advantage of a position of authority over me to be absuive, and then taking advantage of that some authority to humiliate me. The day that happened is the lowest point of my life and if I didn't have kids I think I would have killed myself that day.

I am coming up on an anniversary of that event and I find myself crying every day, I can't focus on work, all those feelings of worthlessness just keep coming back and it's so hard to fight them off. Yes, I have been in therapy, I have gotten treatment for this, I have tools to manage.

But I am SO ANGRY at this person for doing this to me. It feels like they targeted me because they could sense I was vulnerable. I also think when I stood up to them, they were so threatened by the truth of what I said that they went right for the jugular and verbally destroyed me in a way I still think about regularly.

I want to go to their house and scream in their face, I want to send them 10,000 postcards that say "YOU SUCK", I want to take out an ad in the paper explaining what a garbage person they were to me, I want to sue them until they don't have any money and they lose their house and CPS takes their kids away. I want to do to them what they did to me, take away their will to live and make them feel like they are nothing, less than nothing, so unworthy of respect or love that there is no point in moving forward.

I'm not going to do any of these things because I recognize it would all just come back on me, make me look crazy (I feel crazy, that's part of it, I feel crazy for having been through this and there being zero consequences for this person and for me to have to suffer all the consequences of what they did). But I want to. I just feel really, really angry and I want everyone to know what happened.

Most people would probably just shrug and say "get over it, it was a long time ago." And knowing that makes me even more angry.

I don't even think I'm looking for advice, I just needed to share HOW FREAKING ANGRY I AM about this thing that I have to walk around and act like didn't happen for the rest of my life.

I don't believe in hell but I wish it did so that I could envision this person burning in it. I think the idea of divine retribution would be a relief. But in reality they are just going to live a nice life with a supportive family and friends who will overlook this grotesque thing they did (it's too scary for them to confront it) and then die a peaceful death and people will say nice things about them at their funeral.

The world is an unjust place.[/quote]

Sorry OP -
That sucks and people can be thoughtlessly cruel and get away with it.

Can you print this out and start journaling all your anger and just let it come out in safe ways so you don’t cause yourself health problems from the inner pain?

Other cathartic tactics

Buying old plates from thrift stores and smashing them into your fireplace or somewhere else that won’t hurt you or others 
Writing letters to this person detailing ways she wronged you but keep it in a box you can put away and only look at when it helps you 
Start some kind of exercise program where you can punch or karate chop (martial arts) but in controlled way so you also learn to control the anger however justified it is

Finally and far from least

Eventually try and forgive her or them - For your sake so you can heal.

Best wishes OP[/quote]

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