Reply to Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not the PP, but why do so many if you believe living with/near kids is so horrible?  Our parents (mine and spouse's) both moved to less than 2 miles from us and it's great!  Our children have a relationship with both sets of grandparents, and we see each other as frequently, or infrequently, as our busy lives allow.

We actually like each other and get along, as it should be. And when the time comes that they need more care, I will be honored to do so, as my parents raised me and spouses parents raised him, and it is the very least we can do.

For all of you horrified by this, I feel sorry for you and your families.  And, BTW, what is your plan?  To languish in an assisted living/continuing care facility when you are older?  Now that's sad[/quote]

I think the horrified reaction is really sad too. We don't live near our parents/in-laws but my parents moved to live near my sister when they retired (liked the climate and golfing options better there). It was great for them. My parents helped out babysitting when the kids were little and then my sister helped as my parents got older and health failed. Dad died a couple years ago and shortly before that they chose to purchase a house with my sister so now mom lives with her and her two teens (she's divorced). I guess if you have toxic parents/in-laws it's not a great option but there's a lot of great things about having family close. DH and I really debating moving near all of them when we had young children but we really love our life here and it wouldn't have been a good career move.

DH and I plan to downsize our SFH to a townhome in the same area once our kids are launched but if they settle elsewhere I absolutely want to move near them when/if there are grandchildren. That would be the only reason IMO for us to leave the DC area. Our friends are here, our church, our volunteer engagements, etc. I see no reason to leave the area otherwise. [/quote]

I am going to third this. My parents moved to be close to their grandkids and it’s fantastic. My kids have active, involved grandparents with whom they are making memories and building a relationship. We have healthy boundaries and we see them often, but don’t feel it’s intrusive or a burden. I’m glad they can enjoy this time now and build a life here with me instead of being abruptly plucked from the only life they have ever known and dumped in an assisted living home in another state, too far for me to visit more than once a month or moved close to me when they are immobile and dependent and have no one but me. I have had multiple coworkers go through the really tough months or years of end of life elder care with parents who are a 4+ hr drive or a flight away and it sounds so stressful. I want to be able to take my parents to critical appointments and be present when they need me. [/quote]

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