Reply to When a friend always brings down the mood with their trauma, would this be okay?

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Reply to "When a friend always brings down the mood with their trauma, would this be okay?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
It’s hard.

People respond so differently. I have had two close friends who had trauma (one a divorce and the other unexpected death of partner) that came up always in nearly every situation.

I was a friend and sought to listen, but with both of them, I also felt helpless. I wonder if it’s called PTSD when the person can’t really talk or engage in any other topics. Then I don’t know what to do.

Good luck. [/quote]

You’re not supposed to feel anything. By listening and letting them vent you are helping them feel less alone and gives them space to work through and heal. It’s a process.

If them sharing is too anxiety-inducing for you, then it’s OK to limit contact. There is no explicit right and wrong set of actions here. [/quote]

“You’re not supposed to feel anything”?! Wow, you must be a hard T and a hard J in Meyers-Briggs. Some of us feel EVERYTHING, even for perfect strangers. Don’t act like friends or laypeople are trained or equipped to be therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists. Those specialized, advanced fields don’t just give people a degree or a certificate and off they go, they have continuous training and rules in their practices to help protect THEM as well as their patients.[/quote]

A PP mentioned her friend's divorce as a trauma.  GMAFB, it's a divorce.  That's not a trauma, that's just sh!t that sometimes happens.  Or happens often.  I'mguessing the PP got sick of hearing about how much of a dick someone's ex was.[/quote]

Spoken like someone who has never divorced.  It is definitely a trauma - even if the marriage was horrible.

That said, it’s not appropriate to trauma dump.[/quote]

It’s not always a trauma.

Not every unpleasant, difficult, or miserable thing in our lives is “trauma”.  And we wonder why kids are less resilient these days??? [/quote]

For some people, it may not be a trauma.  For others, it absolutely is.  #nuance[/quote]

That’s what I said. [/quote]

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