Reply to Parents and ILs Don't Get Along

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does everyone have to go to every one of your daughter's events? Just keep it to yourselves and stop inviting everyone. [/quote]

This was the same advice she got when she posted before.[/quote]

Op here…. Seriously, they ask. I’m rarely, if ever, reaching out to say “hey come to this”. It’s more that they know it’s whatever sports season and they ask for the schedule. How would you recommend I handle that? Just tell them they aren’t allowed to come? I guess maybe it’s gotten to that point with my parents where I tell them they can’t come when they ask.

For the events that I know they won’t know about (like a school program) I don’t invite any of them.[/quote]

Jesus, just tell them no. It's not that hard. Tell them not to come because they are all a pain in the ass. Why is that so hard to say when it's true? What are you so afraid of?[/quote]

Op here… I’m guessing you don’t have narcissistic parents who will tell you what a terrible person you are and how you mishandled things and how you’re a bad parent… etc etc etc. The fallout is ridiculous… I’m TRYING to learn how to set boundaries and as I’ve admitted previously, am not great at it. Maybe not everyone has reasonable parents? I’m in therapy to figure out how to deal with them but resetting 35+ years of this is hard and not easy. THAT’S why it’s hard [/quote]

Interesting. On the first page of this thread, you typed this:
[i]I know I can just tell them that they can't come to something or not invite them, but DD loves it when they come. She loves knowing that they came to see her. I'm not going to take that away from her.[/i]

Now you’re saying that you can’t say something because they’re narcissistic and will tell you what a bad person you are. Which is it? [/quote]

Op here… I guess that should say “I know I could  tell them…” I can always say something but it just depends on my level of tolerance for the fallout[/quote]

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