Reply to This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm so sorry OP. It does sound like the end must be near, and I'm glad you're in a place where you will be able to see that as merciful.

Know that you were there when it counted - when he was aware of your presence and could interact. It is ok if you can't sit by his bedside now. He is safe.

You probably can't prevent all pain, but he also may not be in the same kind of pain that it appears. Dying is strange and what seems upsetting for us may just be part of the process and maybe not as awful as we imagine. If he is beyond knowing you are there then please don't beat yourself up about having to keep your life on track.

Be candid w/ the staff at the facility also - do they have a social worker on duty? You could talk with them about what you are able to do and what you're most concerned about. For instance, hearing you say that your top priority is sparing any and all discomfort opens the door for a different conversation that just talking about how often he is checked on. A social worker or chaplain or hospitalist on the staff of the facility can really help with those conversations, and with letting you know that you are managing his care as much as possible.[/quote]

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