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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, there is a husband and wife in my neighborhood who are extreme with the gate keeping/social engineering. The husband decides which men can all hang out and the wife with women. They are incredibly manipulative with their subtle put downs and exclusionary actions. If someone moves to the neighborhood and they don’t think they’re acceptable for their clique, the husband usually starts to spread subtle rumors about the new family’s husband while the wife will say something more like that the kids were mean or bullying. If she notices that one person has made a new friend, she will become the new friends best friend in order to ensure she remains in control of social interactions. Same thing if they decide a family is out of the clique. Cutting people out of group text messages, etc, back stabbing, victim playing, and down right lies. It’s sad because one family is making a neighborhood toxic for people with young elementary children since they control the neighborhood social scene with an iron fist. It’s been going on for years and no one will stand up to them because anyone who tries is branded a bully and their children excluded. [/quote]
Wait is this real? It sounds like a TV drama. And why don’t people call them out? How are the neighbors who go along any better?[/quote]

It is real. People don’t call them out to avoid their family being ostracized. Ask me how I know. And the neighbors who go along are no better. They’re just as bad. But it is gatekeeping and social engineering at its finest. [/quote]

I just signed up for a pottery class at a place in my neighborhood. The first night I show up and there’s this lady sitting there who is clearly a queen bee. She has recruited three of her friends to take the class with her and in advance she has gone on Amazon and ordered them all matching smocks, there are six of us in the class but it’s very clear that the class belongs to the queen me and her three friends. I just find the matching smocks particularly weird, the idea of all having to dress like when you’re in your 50s she has basically ostracize the other two of us in the class which is too bad because I joined at hoping to make some friends and now I’m out $200. [/quote]

NP here. F that. Don't let them decide that this is their class. Take it back from them. Start referring to them as the "smock ladies" or "smock #1" and "smock #2" etc. Like "Hey smockie, can you pass me the sponge" or asking your instructor "will we get a chance on the wheel once the smocks are finished"? That will get the insecure ones leaving their smocks at home real quick and the queen bee looking dumb in her smock every class thereafter.[/quote]

I love this.  My guess is that you grew up in a large family -- one benefit is that you learn to push back[/quote]

Believe it or not, I am an only child! [/quote]

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