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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Simple question: When it comes to these marriage/relationship/gender discussions and debates, what is one trope that rings more true about your own gender than you would like to readily admit?

I'm often engaged in these discussions trying to provide a male perspective on a lot of the issues that are raised. I'm often called misogynist or MRA for some of the opinions I raise here, and that is to be expected on the internet and with such charged topics. I think one problem with these discussions is that people cannot separate their immediate circle, circumstances and experiences from broader set of actors and forces in the dating/marriage landscape. My circle of friends is largely responsible, respectful, self-sufficient, intelligent men, so it can be hard for me to fathom and really digest a lot of the complaints about men that I hear, because it is not reflective of my immediate surroundings. I have to do extra work to overcome my cognitive biases and ingest those possibilities (realities) and realize that there is an entire other universe of men out there that are not like my friend group or circle. This factors into how women conduct themselves, vet mates, follow certain "rules", etc.

I was reminded of this last month when told story about a friend's husband who unilaterally scheduled an invasive procedure without consulting her that would immobilize him for a while, under the assumption that his younger wife just handle everything, including the finances, her own, time-consuming, full-time job, the kids and pets and her own ailing parent. Like...who does that?

Another problem is that people dig in their heels and just reject anything that goes against their team/gender, which completely belies the complexity and gray areas of some of these topics. So maybe for one thread we can not do that?

So the reluctant truth: A lot more men than I would like to admit do just want a wife to "mother" them and completely handle everything in their lives and they are kind of bummy.

Anyone have any?[/quote]

How do you think men got that way?

Their mommies babied them far beyond infancy. Many mommies will never give up on this insanity, even when it threatens the stability of their boy’s marriage.

Wives keep complaining, yet I see them repeating the same thing with their own sons. Funny how that works.

[/quote]

Sometimes there is little choice. You either create someone dependent on a mom or the government. And until they are 18 they are your responsibility. My ex turned out to have major mental illnesses that I just didn’t understand in my 20s. He basically masked for 3 years and then another 10 in marriage and then slowly fell apart. One of my children does not have the illness and is totally fine. The other one does and causes mayhem daily. He is almost an adult and yesterday I gave him a very important instruction that took 30 seconds to complete. Verified with him that it was done. Found out he didn’t do it and guessed and caused complete mayhem that will cost me hundreds of dollars to fix not to mention time. It’s always a balance between how much I involve myself and how much I let go.  My safety and health matters too. Some people just have bad genes. Someone has to take care of them. Should have been his parents but of course they wanted to have a break so were behind the scenes trying to marry him off. My son luckily has said he wants to remain single which is how it should be. He will barely be able to take care of himself. [/quote]

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