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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op you are clearly very angry and I hope you catch a break this weekend. 
I don’t think your expectations of in-laws are what most of us experience. Your family calls and is comfortable checking on you because they’re your family. It’s never the same with in-laws. Their focus on themselves will get far worse as they age. It’s just part of life. Make your plans without factoring in any help from them. Your reactivity isn’t going to help any. [/quote]

I just don't understand it. These are your son's children. Can't you feign some interest? I went through my head if we have done anything to offend them. Was our wedding too unconventional for them? Was DH decision to remain on active duty not to their liking? Is our house too inhospitable? Did we send wrong presents to them and SIL and her children? Are they upset that I work?

Like I said. I can hire a babysitter. But I won't be forced to acknowledge emotionally distant people anymore or show them any respect for I have none. [/quote]

OP you are going to have accept that not everyone is the same. This doesn’t make them bad. My MIL is like them and I love it! She only calls when there is a purpose, no general check ins. When she visits it’s never very long and she has her own things to do. She does do things with us and vice versa. It’s fun and our kids have a great relationship with her. She didn’t see them often when they were little as we lived across the country but now that the kids are older, we all live closer, and it’s more logistical we see her more. It’s awesome for me because I really don’t like obligatory relationships.

My SIL on the other hand is always upset that she wasn’t a traditional granny pushing her way in all the time, weekly calls, providing childcare etc. She’s more like you in being offended when others don’t fit your fantasy of how things should be. [/quote]

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