Reply to if you or your spouse cheated- how did you tell the kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]People keep assuming there was no sex.  What about the cheating when there appears to be no cause?  It’s an individual problem.  When it was a happy marriage with sex, good sex, it’s even more if a mind f@&$k.  I didn’t tell my kids because they didn’t see an unhappy marriage.  In fact, my kids when talking about a friend whose parents were getting divorced years prior said “you guys would never get divorced” very matter of fact. I’m the poster a few pages back with kids that were 12 and 14 at the time of discovery.  It is a secret that is painful to carry, but one I won’t burden my sons with.  It really is so unfair to carry this heavy information which I also kept from friends and my family because I did not want to risk it getting back to my kids.  People have a hard time keeping salacious news a secret.

But, cheaters that are angry when people find out who they really are do miss the point.  I do agree with the view don’t cheat (steal, lie, abuse, etc) if you don’t want people to know you are a cheater (thief, liar, abuser, etc).  Your actions should mirror your values.  Get therapy.  Plenty of people have disagreements or tough times in a marriage and don’t resort to going behind someone’s back and having sex with others.  And don’t do this to your spouse or someone else’s spouse and kids.  It’s not a game.  It causes serious trauma and unbelievable pain.[/quote]

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