Reply to In-laws being pushy about visiting.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - what responses!  I think asking 1-2 months is not unreasonable, given the massive adjustment we’ll be going through.  The rules apply across the board.  And for everyone saying “have a heart, let them come at 2-3 weeks” - a month is four weeks.  Is it really that big of a difference?

I’ve read several articles advocating waiting at least a month before allowing strangers around. I’m not interested in being immediately post-partum, bleeding, leaking milk/breastfeeding etc with my in-laws around.  At least not until I get the hang of it.  Is this really cruel, ridiculous, and selfish?  I just don’t get these responses.[/quote]

It is controlling for no reason. You will be fine. Everyone will be fine. Just let the grandparents see experience one of life's rare and precious events by seeing their newborn grandchild soon after it is born. They are not going to take the baby away from you. Being difficult now will not set up well for things between you guys later.

The grandparents are not "being pushy". They are just excited. Would you rather have the opposite?

DP but you are displaying exactly what the PP means by self centered boomer.  Just look at it through a different lens and then you’ll see it better to do whatever the boomer wants. Oooh the boomer is excited, you must forget about your newborns health and your recovery to help the poor little excited boomer. Boomers are insanely entitled. If new parents say two months, you respect it. Stop whining and being manipulative to get your way.

I say all of this after having BTDT. I was a petty controlling b**** of a DIL for a while.
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Fail to see how having boundaries = controlling b****. Also fail to see a huge distinction between two weeks and four weeks.

We have a good relationship generally.  DH communicated that we would play it by ear, which is true.  But they are chomping at the bit to see the baby within hours/days, which is a non-starter.  [/quote]

They’re excited. Try to stop judging them for just a few minutes and see their excitement coming from a place of love. [/quote]

Their excitement is self-centered.  The focus in the postpartum period should be on the comfort of the new mother.[/quote]

It must be exhausting to go through life seeing everything through such a hostile, negative lens. [/quote]

The only exhausting part about this are the self centered boomers like you.[/quote]

Not PP, but your latest response shows yout "hostile negative lens" even more.  All PP did was ask PP to try to stop judging and see the excitement through a different lens.  That PP didn't attack OP or say that she should actually do anything different than planned.  You responded that, no OP should continue to judge and view the ILs as "self-centered."  It is literally adopting a negative lens.  And then you felt the need to call PP a "self-centered boomer"?

Why did you think that warranted calling[/quote][/quote]

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