Reply to Boyfriend is upset/sad that I am taking a bucket list trip with my sister

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Reply to "Boyfriend is upset/sad that I am taking a bucket list trip with my sister"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He didn't overreact. He showed you who he is. Our bad behavior is every bit as much of who we are as our good behavior, so don't make excuses for it and be glad he's showing who he is now.

I get him being bummed or even a bit jealous that you get this amazing travel opportunity. But as someone mentioned early on, those are his feelings to manage, not yours. It can be hard having an SO have an amazing experience without you, but you keep that to yourself and are nothing but excited for them. Anything else wreaks of control issues and a lack of emotional maturity.

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Bad behavior is outward display of unmet needs.  His need (codependence and control) are not your responsibility.  It would have been within reason for him to have been jealous of your opportunity,  but it's not reasonable for him to try to control the situation.  This is a major relationship red flag.  If you really love him and want a future together,  be prepared for putting in work to live with/re-educate these tendencies[/quote]

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