Reply to What is a "pick me" woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][youtube]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fRv2EyOSd_o[/youtube][/quote]

This is so good. Couldn't have said it better.

Note that these women also say "oh I definitely have been a pick me in the past." I would agree with that. That's why it's useful to talk about what it is and why it's toxic. It's not about putting down certain women, it's about collectively saying, as women, let's not denigrate each other in this way. It's harmful.

I also like that they talk about how it's about the performance of behaviors, and drawing comparisons. Like if a woman wants to conduct her life a certain way, more power to her-- do what you want. It's when a woman stands up and says "I do [x,y,x], unlike those OTHER women, who aren't as good as me." It's the act of performance and of highlighting your behavior in contrast to other women that is being a pick me. Whatever the underlying behavior is doesn't really matter.

I also liked how they pointed out that pick me culture often runs in two directions at once. Like some women might be really overtly sexual and be "pick me" about it, all "I own my sexuality, not like those prudes over there." But then some women will perform chastity and being more reserved, and be "pick me" in the exact inverse way: "I respect myself and my man by not letting it all hang out, not like those harlots over there." It's not about your choices, it's about framing your choices as better than other women.[/quote]

Different strokes for different folks.  You still don't  recognize that you are engaging in what you criticize others for--proclaiming you are better somehow than other women that you view yourself in an imaginary competition with.   [/quote]

DP. Ok? Yes, I think I have better values than to put someone down. We make judgments in pretty much every other context; not sure why you think it shouldn’t be done here.[/quote]

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