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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with you OP. Those types of parents drive me crazy when they can't give up their own free time for their kids. I work a ton, and it's not really my idea of a good time to sit in a waiting room, my car or a ball field most weeknights and weekends, but I will definitely do it for my DD.

I have two neighbor mom friends who side eye us hard about how busy our DD is. They make some pretty passive aggressive comments about it. But she asks to do more. She does about 6 hours a week on one activity, just asked to add another 2 hours, plus she will add a weekend sport in the spring. I constantly check in to make sure it's not too much and she says it's not. Plus, that activity is her social circle now, so it's also time with friends.

I personally look at it like she's learning life skills (time management, commitment, etc) and better than sitting in front of a TV or a device.

I just can't stand the superiority of those that intentionally won't let their kids do activities when they have the time and money. They are doing their kids a disservice because once they make it to middle school and decide "hey I want to go out for X sport" it's probably too late because most of those kids have been doing that sport for years already. It's just not like how it was when we were growing up. And you can fight it all you want (I wish it was a little more chill as well!!) but that's not going to change anything.[/quote]

Work on your own insecurity, guilt, and obsessive need to compare yourself favorably to others. Your DD will pick up on your attitude toward life and then she will become a miserable adult like you because she thinks that's the correct way to parent, and that any lifestyle other than the hamster wheel you're on is failure. Also, expand your horizons so that you don't assume the only two choices for children are organized activities or screens. Best of luck to you.[/quote]

So smug[/quote]

Not the poster, but it's not smug. So many people say they put their kids in organized activities, keep them busy as they say so that they stay off screens. Screens or activities are not the only two options.[/quote]

I agree with this (NP) and I really dislike the argument that the only way to keep kids off screens is to schedule their every waking hour. Also: it's not true.

A kid who is very scheduled will get used to always having a distraction. If your child is never forced to entertain themselves for any substantial length of time, they will become the kind of adult who feels nervous and uncomfortable whenever they are not occupied. And that is the sort of the adult who is most likely to become addicted to their phone or tablet, because it's something to "do" during all the parts of life that are boring. Like, just as a for instance, when your kid is at swim class and you are stuck waiting for them to be done.

I don't think my kid is under scheduled, but I 100% schedule "nothing" into her life to ensure that she develops the ability to entertain herself when bored in ways that don't involve screens. Like when I was booking summer camp, I purposefully booked two weeks without camp that I've told her are "mom weeks" -- we're going to do some stuff (library visits, pool, go to the movies, outings with friends) but there will be swaths of each day that are unscheduled. She's got books and toys, she enjoys art, she gets to decide how to spend that time but screen access will be limited. I want her to grow up to be a person who can take a week off and find fun things to do but also knows how to relax have down time.

Same thing with after school. She has some activities but there are always a couple days a week where she has nothing scheduled after school and she is too old for aftercare. She comes home, gets herself a snack, and finds stuff to do. Sometimes she comes to me and says "I'm booooored, what should I do" and I say "That sounds tough but I don't know. I'm finishing work now and you are welcome to help me with dinner when I'm done, but I guess you've just got to find something to do right now." She whines about it, but she finds stuff to do. We've also learned some interesting things about her, like if there is music playing in the house, she has an easier time entertaining herself. That's a useful life lesson she can take with her to adulthood that she would never have gotten out of two extra days of scheduled activities.[/quote]

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