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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse is a big law partner.  We send our kids to public school and have a house that is in the cheaper area of bethesda (oxymoron) and mostly live like UMC people — nothing designer, our house is super outdated, our cars are heaters, kids don’t go to those expensive sleepaway camps, etc.  we do splurge on vacations because he is so overworked that he wants vacations just to be as easy as possible.  I think you need to make decisions about where to spend your money to keep your sanity.

We have a ton saved up because he has always wanted to quit but for him the golden handcuffs has really been finding something that is equally prestigious and would not require moving cross country.  At a certain point it becomes hard to off ramp because you are so senior no one wants to hire you for a regular old job.  He now has sort of a plan of trying to retire at 55 and get a job with a non-profit.  We’ll see if that happens.  [/quote]

In this scenario do you have a job?

[/quote]

SAHWs are a big part of the golden handcuff problem.  Them not working, and having lots of expensive nice stuff, beach houses on the coast, etc. are a reason the men often have to keep working.  [/quote]

While that’s true, it’s much MUCH harder to make partner and then later become a rainmaker if your spouse has a demanding job. I’m not saying it can’t be done. I’m saying a SAH spouse is a cheat code for doing it and doing it well. I was so frustrated by how much better my male peers at it at home. [/quote]

Why didn’t your husband stay at home then?  It’s not against the law.  [/quote]

He’s a partner at another firm. [/quote]

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