Reply to 50/50 is terrible for kids! Why does this nonsense persist?

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Reply to "50/50 is terrible for kids! Why does this nonsense persist?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP what is the alternative?[/quote]

One home during the week and school year.

Other home during some weekends and summer.

50 -50 is for the guilty parents. If the parents cared at all about the kids they wouldn't put them through 50-50.[/quote]

I'm a teacher, I see a lot of families.

What you propose, uprooting the child and going somewhere new for the summer is one of the worst arrangements.  I can't imagine someone thinking it's better than 50/50.

The kids I see who have 50/50 generally do quite well.  [/quote]

? My kid goes to sleepaway camp for 7 weeks every summer and absolutely loves it.[/quote]

What does that have to to with custody?  [/quote][/quote]

It means it wont' kill the kid to go somewhere for the summer--to see their parent!![/quote]

So, first of all, we aren't measuring custody arrangement by whether they will kill the child.  That's absurd.  In this case, we're measuring them based on how they compare to 50/50 which, in almost all cases, doesn't kill the child either.  (Note: if you actually have an ex who might be homicidal, neither of these plans are a good idea).

But to say that because some kids, probably in a narrow age band that excludes all infants, toddlers and preschoolers, and many if not most early elementary schoolers and teens, do fine with going to camp for the summer, an environment that is designed to help kids make new friends and connections, and doesn't impose a parent-child relationship on them, that a young child suddenly separated from their primary caregiver or teenager isolated away from their friends is going to feel the same way.

Plus, any NT kid who has the temperament to do well with 7 weeks of sleep away camp would also do fine with 50/50. Plus that same kid would lose out because you don't get to do sleep away camp if your only time with your non-primary parent is summer they probably are going to keep you with them.  [/quote]

What is your point?  There are a few dad haters who think no dad is a good dad and men cannot raise kids.  In fact, no one is good enough but them.  Sleep away camp is different.  [/quote]

My point is that the kids I know who have 50/50 do better than the kids I know who spend the school year with one parent and the summer with another.  I'm pretty sure advocating for 50/50 as one good option many kids doesn't make me a "dad hater". It happens that 50/50 doesn't work for my family, because of my kids' particular dad's particular issues, but I see it work all the time for other families.  [/quote]

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