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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Re: our savings habits, we save quite a bit, in large part because of all the help we receive from my parents. DH is just extremely conservative and doesn't want to put any of that towards a new house.  He just wants to equity from our current house.  Maybe the problem is just that he's overly conservative.

[b]It would be great if DH could sit down with his mother and a lawyer and social worker and figure out a plan for this.  The problem is his mother refuses to talk about any of this.  Like, she's in complete denial that she's going to die someday, that her son cannot care for himself, and that this is all going to fall on DH.  The real problem here is my MIL but there's nothing we can do about it[/b].  [/quote]

But there is. He can lay out his boundaries to his mother so she knows what she can expect from him. I'm the person who has the same situation as your husband. I also felt helpless and terrified for years and my mom was is utter denial.

Here is what I did:

Told her exactly what I would and wouldn't do (would let my brother have their house and wouldn't seek an inheritance of it, would help him set up disability payments, word help him seek psychiatric help, would NOT let him live with my and my family, would NOT pay for his care if he doesn't seek disability payments.)

My parents have more than enough money to set him up.

My inheritance will be for my own family.

[/quote]

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