Reply to Elderly in-laws refuse to sell house that needs $200k of work, are out of money, can’t get loan

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Folks in their 80’s with a $100K mortgage they can’t service, secured by a dwelling that is falling down around their ears, are not in a good place.

Hard as it may be, you should consider the admonition to “put on your own oxygen mask first.”  If you and your husband’s siblings get dragged down with his parents everybody loses.

I wonder if you found a brand new place of manageable size, perhaps in a planned community with some amenities, you might be able to convince them that they’d be “trading up.”  This might be more effective than convincing them their sentiment-laden home isn’t suitable any more. They bought a good place. They enjoyed it. They built up equity. Now is the time to cash out and enjoy the fruits of their prudence. Bonus points if they already know somebody who lives there or near there.

I think there is software that you can use to generate illustrations of how their favorite chairs, etc., would look in the new place.

Another suggestion before selling would be to contact a lawyer who is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys to perhaps incorporate Medicaid planning into any transaction. A residence that a person intends to return to (however unlikely it is that that would occur) is treated very differently than a bag of cash or something jointly owned. Assets can also move between spouses to qualify for nursing home help. I know this isn’t on the table right now, but given their age it could come up any time. [/quote]

It's just not that easy to convince people who want to stay in their home, that they should leave - even if you find them the absolute perfect place, where they would have a better quality of life.[/quote]

Really?  Say honest?  No BS?

Gosh, then, I guess it’s not worth even trying. Because staying there is such a workable result, as OP explained at length. [/quote]

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