Reply to And then the day comes: Long term partner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No big deal, OP. He can recuperate on his own. Ask her to drop by to help him.[/quote]

As another person said, use his money to hire help. You cannot ask her to drop by to help him. That is free labor as she is not his spouse. I would show enormous gratitude for anything she does or offers to do. You are in the will, she is not. It's the same as a long term friendship. Be grateful for anything the friends do, but it is not their job to care for the parent.

My own mother who is/was married to my dad tried to pawn off everything on me because she could not deal. She wanted to inherit, just not do the work. So we finally convinced her to spend his hard earned money on help.[/quote]

Wow, seeing this a bit with my MiL and didn't realize it may be more universal. TBH, it may have just been an adjustment phase but she carries on as if she was the first person who has had to be a caregiver to a spouse/relative. I've been through this three times and this is the first for her aside from raising her kids. I am trying to be more patient with her attitude, but it is not easy.

OP, there are a lot of good insights here for you and your DH. Focus on what senior services exist for him, what kind of care does he require, etc. And as others suggested, always express appreciation for whenever she is of help. [/quote]

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