Reply to URMs Feeling Pressure to Prove Themselves

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid is a URM from a middle class family in Fairfax County. A language other than English is often spoken in our house. Both parents are grads of US universities. My kid has high stats, has been admitted to some sought after universities. I feel they are constantly having to prove themselves in front of their non-URM friends. In addition, I often get the “Your kid will have an advantage in college admissions” comments. It irks me to no end! My kid worked very hard for those grades. Non URM kids from their grade were admitted to comprable schools with similar-possibly lower scores.

They are still working hard in their classes (as they should), while some of her classmates are enjoying some senioritis. If you are a parent to a high performing URM, do you notice this as well? It just makes me sad how they still feel the pressure to show they deserve to attend a prestigious university. [/quote]
I am so sorry that you and your child are experiencing this.  I totally understand and feel your pain.  It's so misfortunate, but high stats URMs will encounter more scrutiny and bigotry.

I was the high stats URM student years ago. Now I am the parent of high stats URM students.  I think my children are under more pressure than I was at their age.  It breaks my heart to bare witness to the level of intensity, insanity, and scrutiny that my children are encountering.   My oldest will probably graduate second in his class at a school that is predominately white and Asian.  Let's just say, I can write a book about high stats URMs and the pressure to prove themselves.  Some of the things that people primarily white parents have said to me are so awful and smacks of bigotry.

An educated URM is feared in this country because we do not adhere to the narrative or stereotypical box that is forced upon us.  Some people can't wrap their brains around our children being anything but less than and inferior to them.  Being intellectual in black or brown skin is a threat to the masses in America.  The powers that be will do everything to try to knock your child down.  Tell your children to be and stay strong in the storm of pressure.

I wish you and your children the best of luck! [/quote]

Sure, I’m assuming you kids will still check the box on application?[/quote]

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